For me,
you were not just my father, you were my greatest punisher. Why? Oh well, do you
remember when I was in grade 5, when you punished me? When you hit me with your
belt like a maniac, damn Tay that hurts. If you can’t remember it, let me
remind you then. I was in grade 5, careless, silly and hard-headed little girl;
there was no electricity supply in our barangay during that time yet, but there
was this Movie Haus that operates during the night through the use of
generator.One night I asked Nanay’s
permission that I want to watched a movie, that Indiana Jones Movie, I told her
I might sleep over on a friend’s house after, (although I have no friends in
mind) she said yes but she said I have to asked your permission too, knowing that
you won’t allow me, I sneaked out after dinner without telling you anything, I went
out ALONE. When you find out that I’m not in my room, you asked nanay about me,
she told you where im at and what’s my plan, you commanded Manong Nonoy to pick
me up and to bring me home. So I went home with him even though the movie has
just started. You didn’t even allow me to enter the room Tay, when you saw me;
you removed your belt and hit me non-stop, everywhere except my face. Nanay had
to cover me with her body because you didn’t want to stop. You were saying words
that I can’t understand because im too busy covering my body, wondering where you
will hit me next, but I caught one phrase “What will happen to us, to me, to
your Nanay if you got rape.” I wasn’t crying, I know that, but Nanay was crying
all throughout the night, even after you stop hitting me. You even had a fight
with her for tolerating me. The next morning, I can’t move my body, it’s aching
all over, I have belt marks everywhere. Manong Nonoy can’t look at me and the rest
of the boys. Nanay had to bathe and dressed me up just like a baby so I can go
to school. For one week Tay, we never talked, even you and nanay were not
talking. But I can feel it and I can see in your eyes that you were hurting to
see me in pain. After a week, you brought home from work a special spaghetti
from De Calidad Restaurant and my favorite bread “piping”, you gave it to me. I
didn’t accept it, I’m sorry, I was still mad at you. Then you told me to go to
my room, to not my lock my door, because you will follow to talk to me. You
were still holding the bread and spaghetti; you sat down on the chair next to
my study table and looked at me. “Does it hurt?” your first question. Wow! Of course
it does. Can’t you see the marks of your belt on my arms? But I didn’t say
anything, that words were all just in my mind, the tears were falling on my face and then you said, “That night was
the scariest night of my life as a father Evangeline, the only night when fear
took over my heart, because I don’t know where my daughter is. There are a lot
of human animals lurking around out there, what if you got raped, murdered, what am I
going to do? A lot of people hates me in this place because of land problem, most
of them wants to hurt me, do you think they will spare your life if they see
you out there, alone and unprotected? You have 6 elder sisters and 3 elder
brothers, but they never did that, they always follow my command, because they
know I am doing it to protect you all, to keep you safe, why you, the youngest among
ten have to be so hard headed? Your brothers were here, sleeping, while you, a
girl, where were you? Out there, alone. HINDI LANG IKAW ANG ANAK KO, HINDI LANG
IKAW ANG INIISIP KO, WAG KANG MAKASARILI.” Then you put the bread and spaghetti
on the table and walked out of my room. From that day on, I know in my heart
and in my mind, I have the best father… and the best punisher.
I love you Zosimo Tan Manayon SR. I miss you.
P.S. I asked GOD to prepare Mango Flavored Ice cream
for you today, Yakult, one day unlimited supply of gelatin, buko salad, soft
drinks… and oh, COFFEE, how can I forget? Happy birthday my coffee buddy. Celebrate with God, you
deserve it. I love you.
