She is I...
I see her everyday. I see her
when she wakes up in the morning, combing her hair with her fingers,
sipping her coffee, brushing her teeth, wiping her oily face, taking a
bath, talking to the mirror, drawing her eyebrow and greeting everyone she meets at the
street on the way to her workplace. I feel it when she's afraid, and
unsure of her life. I sense it when she's happy, or when she's sad. I know
her insecurities, her fear, her strengths and weaknesses. I feel it when
she's faking her smile or when she's feeling her best. I know when
she's heartbroken and when she's totally overwhelm. I can feel it when
she's lying and I sense it when she's telling her everything…I know her
secrets. I can feel when she can't sleep at night and if she's having
paranoia. I know what drives her crazy, and I know her insanity. I know
what can make her happy and what can make her feel ecstatic. I know
what can hurt her and what can make her feel special. I know when she's
being stubborn or just being playful. I love her stupidity but I hate
her guts. I trust her decision, but I doubt her impulsiveness. I value
her beliefs and I admire her imperfections. I know her…I feel her, I see
her, I admire her..but I also despise her..i love her…I hate her at times..but I will always love and support her... because she is I, and I am her.I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but those mistakes made me the person that I am today. I became stronger and fiercer. I am no longer afraid to say what I really feel..I learned the art of protecting myself against all the tyranny of the outsiders and not letting myself get attached too much to anyone.. I'm Eva, I'm not perfect and so is my life, and I don’t want it to be, im not asking it to be..Im happy and that's all that matters.
Ok, please bear with me while I critique; "She is I". Btw, this is my favorite thing you have written. Truly, I really love this! But only up until the point when you say, "I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life". In my opinion, I think you should have ended this writing on the sentence before, "because she is I, and I am her." OMG, that is an absolutely perfect ending! :-) Now, I am not suggesting you throw the ending away… rather, I suggest you use it to start another story for this blog. Maybe you could call it, She is I part two: "I am her". My reason for saying this is the change in emotion that occurs at this point in the story. Yes, it is information that needs to be said. But it feels like it was written at a different time… with a different mindset and a different set of emotions. This "turn in the story" definitely needs to be explored and expanded upon. But, in my humble opinion, I think this slight detracts from "your flow". That is the fluidity and positivity of this story up to this point. I hope you don't take offense to this. If you do, please feel free to tell me so. Obviously, it is your thoughts and your writing. I am only expressing my opinion out of love for what you have done. I do not say this with the intention of hurting or discouraging you. On the contrary, I only wish to support and encourage you to continue your passion for writing. Sincerely, -Russ
ReplyDeleteThank you Russ. I really appreciate your comments and concern about my writings. Im a little bit embarrassed and at the same time honored that you spare some time to read my thoughts (blog)...about the second part of it..I will try to write something, you see, everything in my blogspot is based on my emotion and my current situation. Its a not so random yet random thoughts of mine :). Whenever I feel like writing something, i would just simply grab a pen and paper or my ipad and start scribbling..
Deleteanyway, I hope you wont get tired reading my thoughts..and thank you so much for your support, its feels good to know someone like you.
Thank you for the kind words! I too am glad to have the opportunity to get to know you... thru this form of social media. In this age of brevity and anonymity, it is refreshing to find someone who has thoughts and opinions that can't always be fully expressed in 140 characters or less. :-)
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